Chunli’s Blog

I dreamt that YOU were here. And I went for grocery shopping just so I can ask YOU to cook my fav soup.
But when I opened my eyes, I realized it was only just a dream.
If only those dreams were true. Sigh! :’(

My life seems meaningless ever since “U” have gone. It’s miserable and depressing. A part of me seems missing, just like a puzzle that is missing and it’ll never be completed. I wish I could turn back time, where my happiness is.
Why are we separated?! I missed those times where we sleep together, chat abit before we fall asleep. Those were the days. I wish I have a home, of my own. I would shut myself up in the room, cry, shout, laugh, doing whatever things I want, alone, in the room.
At the end of the day, I’m still alone. All alone. I’m afraid of loneliness, but I know, I have to be independent and get used to it. This is my life, where god chose to give me.
Sometimes, I just want to end my life, so that I will not be anybody’s burden, and that I will be happy. I hope to end my life quick, reincarnate and have a new life, new person, new family, new friends. When will this day ever come?
My life… It sucks!

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today, 11 feb, something bad happened.

i could not believe and accept the fact that u’re gone! i am very very sorry for the cause of ur death. its my fault! i ill treated u. i am so sorry! i cant forgive myself for this. days without u seems so quiet. i know, when u’re here, i ignored u. when u’re gone, i miss u every day and night. its always the fact that when something/someone very precious to u had gone, u’ll then started to regret. and then u will realize everything is too late.

a part of me seems missing when i heard this news. how i wish that it wasnt true and that when i reached home, i could still see u jumping around actively. but.. everything was beyond my imagination. i cried badly, blaming myself for the cause of ur death. i am really very sorry! i couldnt resist myself from crying whenever i think of u.

xx, i miss you! and i am very very sorry! may u RIP!

i know i will get my karma one day!

:’(

24th jan marks the end of fyp evaluation! Everything is over! I’m so glad that I can say bye bye to fyp and the team! Imma freeeee birdie now! Yay!
However, I’m kinda worried bout my result. Really wish that I’ll get at least a C grade. That’s what I wish for now! Sigh…

aside this, let’s enjoy cny to the fullest! Get more angbaos$$$$!

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my new year eve was well spent at eugene’s pub and nana! i have fun at nana! one of my most enjoyable moment for nye. thats the first time i saw yx kept puring liquor into his cup. kept drinking and drinking. the reason was bcos he was not riding on that day and it was nye! HAHA!

my 2011 was quite alright except the fact that school life makes me in a dilemma. plus fyp presentation is coming. 2more weeks. i seriously hope this shitz will end asap! this semester definitely sucks, so will the rest of the semester. school life’s making so sooooo sooooooo upset! hmm, i think somehow it will lead me to depression. i think im suffering from it alr.

sometimes, i really feel like commiting suicide. i feel so useless/hopeless and its so disappointing. yea, i keep saying this but no improvement made. it seems like im still not learning my lesson yet! its repeating and repeating again and again. u wouldnt know how much i hate my poly life, how sucky is my situation like. fucking in a dilenma! fucking shitz! whenever i think of it, i feel like crying. sigh…

just let me die, may i pls?!